insane troll logic

migration

2010-03-14T16:48:00.002+11:00

I am now here.

2009-10-18T21:27:00.000+11:00

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Do you want to date my avatar?

2009-08-19T09:52:00.003+10:00

.

Anyone who has watched The Guild (www.watchtheguild.com) and enjoyed it will love this little music video featuring the cast of The Guild with the help of Maurissa Tancharoen and Jed Whedon.

.

C - L - A - R - E

2009-08-12T22:08:00.001+10:00

Apparently I am having some issues with the way people are spelling my name.
Especially when they are replying to something which has my name right there.
SO, to stop the confusion,
to spell Clare:

C L A R E.

Alternate spellings will no longer be accepted.

.

Oh Harold

2009-08-12T20:23:00.003+10:00

.

Late last night I was inspired to begin writing an epic love poem.
To Harold Bishop.
I do not remember a world without Harold 'Jelly Belly' Bishop,
and nor do I have any desire to do so.

So here is verse one.
I will add to it as I feel the need
and sleep deprivation to do so.

Oh Harold,
You are the sunshine,
The last Tim-Tam in the packet.
You are my everything,
My jelly doughnut.

.

2009-08-06T18:40:00.001+10:00

Created by The Oatmeal

Teenage Mutant Ninja Fingernails

2009-07-31T20:44:00.000+10:00

You have... a hammer...

2009-07-28T22:15:00.002+10:00

.

A bizarre conversation involving All Saints and coat hangers inspired me to track down this moral test. I first found this a number of years ago, before Katrina, and way before Obama.. So pretend it is still 2002.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So where do you stand morally?

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand
morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in
which you
will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
-------------------------
THE SITUATION

You are in New Orleans to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe
flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and

people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

===============================================
THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the
debris.
You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar.
You suddenly realize who it is.

It's the President, George W. Bush.

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take

him under forever.

You have two options- you can save the life of the President, or you
can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the
death
of one of the world's most famous men.

===============================================
THE QUESTION

Here's the question ;

Would you select high contrast colour film,

or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white

Fw: Fw: Pass this on or a hippo will live in your roof

2009-07-27T21:44:00.003+10:00

.

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
Umm, not sure where my phone is to see who that was, but I think yes.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
It would be nice, I am not overly particular about who as long as they are here to distract me from sleeping. ;)

Do you prefer the ocean or pool?
A little of both, I prefer a salt water pool during the day and the ocean at night.

What is in your backpack right now?
Purse, notebook, pencilcase, Key to the office, a book and a sushi key ring.

Hold hands with anyone last night?
hands... no...

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Peter - My local Miracle Man

Have you ever been told that you were going to hell?
more than several times, but that dosen't worry me since i believe that a hell in the way they were referring to does not exist.

Where were the last three places you went:
Shower, Kitchen, Lounge room... its been a lazy sunday afternoon for me, complete with watching the rain through the window.

What is the longest you've lived in one house?
3 or 4 years.

Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own?
all the time

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?
probably, I am not very good at noticing these things.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
No, but I don't have anyone of the same sex that i tell *everything* to.

Next time you will kiss someone?
I don't exactly plan these things.

Who was the last person to make you smile?
Me, about 10 seconds ago I was telling Adele about Michael trying to marry me off to the locals for millions of dollars when we were in Fiji.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
I have a reason to get into bed that I am ignoring, not sure that counts.

What color is your bathing suit?
One is black and one is pink.

Would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead?
alcoholic - it is easier and more legal to get the supplies.

Could you go a day without music?
Yes, but not in total silence.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Yes, I have a design and location picked, Just need to go get it.

Are you excited for anything?
I wish I was, once i get some stuff sorted out and have a clear idea of how the move will work out I will be.

When is the last time you went swimming?
I honestly cant remember. How sad is that.

Have you ever gone camping?
more than once... I have even been flooded out of camping more than once.

What do you spend most of your money on?
CityRail and dvds.

Ever been out past your curfew?
Well, yes but I didn't realize i had a curfew at the time

What are you doing?
Watching Greys anatomy while waiting for the Bug Bang theory to start and filling this in.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an M?
yes. I have also regretted it.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
The guy who sold me a coke on the way home was moderately attractive for this phase in the moon.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Work, more work, some work... you get the idea.

What was the last thing you bought?
Coke. At the pub for dinner.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
hundreds. do I care? no.

Are you an emotional person?
yes. I have no control over my emotions, sometimes I wish I was an ice queen.

Did you speak with your father today?
I have not spoken to that man in more than a few years.

Ever really cried your heart out?
Yea, Iusually feel better after it.

Who were you with the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
The last time I laughed really really hard was with Adele while Elyse and Andrew discussed us.

Do you like to cuddle?
yes.

Are you comfortable with your height?
I wouldnt want to be any taller, heels would get a bit weird if I was taller than most of the guys.

Does anyone love you?
Yea, in different ways.

*this was filled in partly on Sunday and partly on Monday.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??

2009-07-25T23:43:00.002+10:00

"The Christian Church has done everything in its power to suppress and control sexuality- the life/creative force that liberates the kundalini and is a direct threat to their agenda for enslaving humanity." - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??

This is how it goes down

2009-07-25T23:25:00.001+10:00

I hear my name,
I hear the trash you're talking,
In your sleep, the secrets that you're keeping,
A chick, this smart
Did you really think you could keep her in the dark?

Does she purr?
Does she make it hard
Hard to speak?
Does she dress the part?
I'm sure she'll take some getting used to,
Brother she will never be me

Feel the burn, take a spin,
Suck the poison out of me,
I'll make your beg, I'll make you come,
To your senses if you keep,
Up the shit, take the hit,
Dig the grave
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down
Gonna run, gonna scream,
Gonna crawl down on your knees,
When you realize that no one's gonna measure up to me,
Doesn't matter cause I'm over it now,
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down,

I'm gonna rage,
Stay out really late,
Gonna hang, with all my friends you hate,
I may try that three-some,
Better late than never,
And better without you,

This is your future as I see it,
You will be homeless, bald and broken,
She will have left you when she finds out who you are,
You're nothing but an extra, and baby I'm the star,

Suppose this is how the story goes but ever since that door closed,
I've been going down (down), the dream, in the pink got me nauseous,
I should've grown more cautious, and clever, whatever
you never find a dude with better head game and,
You can take that both ways,
You laughing like I'm playing with your fingers up like OJ,
Missy you would have a three-some without me,
I'll pull an OJ, and text you some incriminating pictures from my old days,

Somebody done lied to you
Because you're not such a big shot dude,
You might wanna rethink it through,
You should've asked me I would've told you the truth.

gifts of melbourne

2009-07-25T22:15:00.005+10:00

.

Some of the highlights from my trip (well the ones I can admit to):

White Trash day - Getting skanked up and eating at Hungry Jacks
where it takes teenage boys about 10 mins to come up with the phrase 'Hello Ladies'.

Th Croft Institute - anything with a science/ 20s hospital theme is automatically awesome.

The Protest - when I protest it is always useful to have a man strung up and a surgeon operating in the street.

Giant gifts - Down a random alley we found a massive gift, I am still not sure what purpose it served.

Brighton - See pictures in posts below. They were so awesome and inspired me to paint the beach...
apparently that is illegal...

The Fire towers - Anything with fire is exciting. and at night with the city lights it was so pretty.

I am sure there is more i *can* share but I am tired so this is it for now.

More of Melbourne

2009-07-25T21:53:00.003+10:00

.

Some more pictures...

^City by McCafe

^Bridge reflections

^Gifts

^Cow up a Tree in the Docklands

^Poster for a party

Melbourne July 09

2009-07-25T20:53:00.004+10:00

.

I took 482 pictures while i was visiting Melbourne, below are 5 of them. Some are up on Facebook and some I may have promised not to display on the internet. I had the best few weeks down there, and not just because I was not working every day.

^Graffiti in an alley

^The fire towers along Southbank

^Brighton beach houses

^a toilet near Batman Avenue

^A building in the City

80s glam-rock walk of shame hair!

2009-07-03T21:32:00.002+10:00

my GHD + about 12 volumising products + fake pearls =
80s glam-rock walk of shame hair!

But now it's full of evil clowns

2009-07-03T20:01:00.006+10:00

A few weeks ago I went to the P!nk Funhouse concert. It was AMAZING! Words will not do it justice. If you get the chance I suggest you go.
Some of the pictures from the BEST concert ever (at least of the ones I have been to).

In the order blogger has rearranged my pictures:

^Pillow fight

^Jumping and running in these shoes was really impressive.

^Some of the funhouse costumes.

^Flying up out of the floor with a massive tail.

^P!nk Funhouse

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down
I'm gonna burn it down

Are you feeling romantic?

2009-07-03T19:30:00.006+10:00

'Are you feeling romantic?' That is the question we were asked by the lead 'singer' of a band called Faker.

I was feeling the level of romanticism a cane toad feels towards a golf club.
This guy then went on to share various words of wisdom with us including 'this is a song about love called my heart attack' and 'this is a song about sleep walking called sleep walking'
So i decided to write my own song, bet you all can't wait for the release of 'a song about cane toads called cane toads stole my golf clubs'
Here are some pictures of the first part of the evening.

^Notice the guy in the tie, he played keyboard, two different guitars, did some of the vocals and had a game of chase with the other guitar dude. It was both impressive and amusing.

^The are you feeling romantic guys butt is on the left.

^F A K E R

^Faker in a pink-ish light

^in a white light.

Dear Diary

2009-06-14T21:43:00.004+10:00

"Dear diary... On my holidays, I had a kinky threeway with aliens. I think there was a sheep. I hate to think. Alcohol will not blot this out."

I cannot remember the conversation that prompted me to keep that quote on my desktop but it really surmises the feelings I have regarding Windows Vista.

apathy

2009-06-11T22:06:00.003+10:00

becoming a cat lady

2009-06-09T23:09:00.001+10:00

see more Funny Graphs

Today's Episode brought to you by the letter E!

2009-06-08T18:48:00.001+10:00

Chocolate

2009-06-08T18:40:00.001+10:00

Morning Fog

2009-06-08T18:17:00.003+10:00

City Rain

2009-06-08T18:15:00.003+10:00

Sydney@Night

2009-06-08T18:06:00.003+10:00

What is true of the bank is true of Australia Post

2009-06-06T20:44:00.001+10:00

see more Funny Graphs

or the colours of a ducks feathers

2009-05-22T22:50:00.008+10:00

I just watched The Foundry’s Anti-discrimination Ad on the Gruen Transfer because all of the hype made me curious. Apparently it was so shocking that it was unable to be aired on the television. Which is somewhat confusing considering the shite that is aired, such as Big Brother and adverts for phone sex.

The thing that actually offended me was the amount of warning put in place to let people know that they might be offended. Because if there was no mention of race or sexuality, and if it was just focused on the fat jokes, it would be a featured video. It offended me that we have to be so politically correct about race but when it comes down to it, if you are discriminating about a persons colour or their shape, it is still about a physical aspect of their being.
I don't see how one type of discrimination is worse than any other. Why is it ok to make fun of someone for being a woman, or blonde, or fat and not ok for the exact same things to be said in relation to a Jew or a brunette?
I think if you want to be politically correct it has to apply to everyone or no-one. There is no graysacle.

live and let die

2009-05-21T20:24:00.008+10:00

When I was living in Brisbane (many many years ago) I lived by the belief that if someone wanted to do something that was their choice. If people wanted to smoke, drink or watch Star Trek Voyager at 2am, that was noone of my business.

Smoking is done in the privacy of their own homes, people did not drink on the public transportation and my bedroom was closest to the television so I was not bothering anyone with my late night viewing habits.
But living in Sydney I am starting to change the way I thinkn about people. No longer is there a 'live and let die' mentality because I am not a passive smoker, I am a non-consentual smoker. The people of Sydney are killing me, slowly and with terrible things that the government makes into anti-smoking adverts.
So no more, I will not let the decisions be made for me, I will not be a passive smoker.
I will take the fight to them.

2009-05-21T20:11:00.000+10:00

first dates

whilst I am working..

2009-05-20T10:47:00.002+10:00

Voice from the other side of the walkway: "Meow.... Meow... I am a man of many tallents."

twitter

2009-05-18T20:04:00.001+10:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-17T21:24:00.003+10:00

This Mothers Day we sent some hand made foam monster magnets to my Granny.
Here are a few of the pictures.

If you're going to get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh.

2009-05-17T21:11:00.004+10:00

^My new ugg boots

^ A fern growing out of the concourse at teh local train station.

^Ginger on a (relativley) recent trip to Brisbane.

I'd never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love, seems like a good way to go.

2009-05-17T20:37:00.005+10:00

The thing I like about reading is that noone has taken your idea of what should be and replaced it with a group of crack addicts who lack a back story.
At least this is how I feel about Twilight. I loved the books (ok, not quite as much as I loved the City of Bones/City go Ashes /City of Glass) but the movie left a lot to be desired. For a start some character development, and a cast that is not made to look like crack addicts searching for a role in a porno.
I couldn't bellieve that my two favorite characters were all but eliminated. Alice is barely mentioned and Jasper is only mentioned in passins as 'always looking like he is in pain'. There were several important moments that were missed out, such as Bella saying the same thing to her Father as her mother did when she left.
With that in mind here is my casting choises for a Twilight that incorparates some talent and story development:

(My Revised) Cast List

Edward Cullen - Jason Dohring
Bella Swan - Eliza Dushku
Alice Cullen -Kirsten Dunst
Jasper Hale -Ryan Kwanten
Dr. Carlisle Cullen - Neil Patrick Harris
Esme Cullen - Charisma Carpenter
Rosalie Hale - Emma Caulfield
Emmet Cullen - Teddy Dunn
Charlie Swan - Chuck Norris

on a balcony in summer air.

2009-04-11T22:26:00.004+10:00

It has come to my attention that I have
not been blogging of late.
So here are a few highlights of my
past few weeks.

~foot blood!~
I discovered blood all over my foot on
the way to work. I cleaned it up but
didn't have a bandaid with me so
there was much more foot blood
on the train.
A creepy kid with cuts all up
his arms kept staring at it.
Musch like a Vampire would.
Then I got a tetnus shot,
I can step on rusty nails for another
10 years without fear.

~Romantic Bear~
No, I did not recieve a romantic bear,
I just took a picture because I wanted one.
They were so soft, and led me to get
my phone fixed.
Also leading me to work out the
bluetooth connections to grab these pictures
off my phone.

More to come: Pac-Man and the Phallus with eyes.

Raspberry Coke

2009-03-20T23:50:00.000+11:00

It's gonna be big.

Economic Stimulus Payment

2009-03-20T18:29:00.003+11:00

“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new
program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgin.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such
thing, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your
stimulus cheque wisely:

If you spend that money at Kmart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .
And none of it will help the Australian economy.

We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending
it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer
and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be
owned by Aussies.

my point exactly

2009-03-17T18:53:00.001+11:00

see more Lol Celebs

now showing

2009-03-09T21:03:00.003+11:00

Unfortunately I have been watching CSI: Miami in recent weeks. Every time it gets worse. It is basically a (c)rap music video staring some white dude doing the hokey pokey with his sunglasses. He takes the glasses off, he puts the glasses on, he takes the glasses off and he looks into the distance. And can someone explain to me why in every murder there must be female strippers, female hookers, more than 4 scenes in a strip club and some graphic girl on girl action? t makes me think television is slipping. I would welcome back Spellbinder in a heartbeat. If you don't remember / never watched Spellbinder, it was one of those bizarre nearly science fiction shows with a portal between two worlds. It was probably one of the worst shows at the time, but it was just so funny. To 'shoot' 'magic fire balls' they would use martial arts moves and slide their arms around. Watch some here. Other TOTALLY EXCELLENT shows include Jeopardy, where a group of Irish campers get abducted by aliens in the Australian outback with a bunch of video campers to document the experience. Also Maddigan's Quest was a fantasy-based television series set in a post-apocalyptic future full of children with New Zealand accents who are afraid of machines in the 'forbidden zone', also known as the forest.

And on the subject of television, I caught some of Dr Phil (aka SATAN) who had some suggestions for what to say to children, such as "I don't care". I don't care if there were words following that sentence or if he followed that up by spending millions of dollars on hookers, people rarely remember more than the first three words.

uh-oh!

2009-03-08T21:46:00.000+11:00

Something is wrong...
Something is horribly wrong....

ponder

2009-02-28T11:01:00.000+11:00

see Sarah Palin pictures

Ephipany

2009-02-27T18:42:00.004+11:00

I stole this from Della who stole it from Linley. So not too original, but hey, at least I posted something. =P

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Mamma Mia (Mamma Mia Soundtrack)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Forever Young (Youth Group)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Caring Hands (Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Pleasure and Pain (Divinyls)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
You're the Voice (John Farnham, Olivia Newton-John & Anthony Warlow)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Walk through the fire (BtVS Once More With Feeling)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Have you ever seen the rain? (Smokie)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Morning Train 9 to 5 (Sheena Easton)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The things you do (5ive)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Bad Horse Chorus (Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Where is the Love? (Black Eyed Peas)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Perfect (PJ & Duncan)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Alice, Who the fuck is Alice? (Smokie)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Too lost in you (Sugarbabes)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Gonna B Alright (PJ & Duncan)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Horrible Theme (Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Sweet Home Alabama (Lynrd Skynd)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
God, That's Good! (Sweeny Todd Soundtrack)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Story of a Girl (Bowling for Soup)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Read 'Em and Weep (Meatloaf)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
God Bless the American Housewife (SheDaisy)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Ephipany (Sweeny Todd Soundtrack)

@

2009-02-25T19:44:00.002+11:00

@Vista: you can suck the hairy goat testicalss in the jar behind the fridge in the basement.

@The neighbours: not everyone shares your shite taste in music. Join vista with the jar of testicals.

edit:

@Adobe: Join the line for goat testicals.

two of my fave guys

2009-02-12T20:26:00.000+11:00

the hammer

2009-01-22T21:29:00.003+11:00

'The hammer is my penis'

*hehehehe*

found a hammer keyring today at bunnings and made 'the hammer is my penis' jokes and discussed buying a knob, ripped my pants and then came home to find Dr Horrible waiting for me. perfect way to end the day.

the neighbours

2009-01-20T23:12:00.002+11:00

^ the neighbours roof. with this light constantly on, the car horn code and the lookout they employ it is no wonder they inspire me to staple their testicals to their feet, or each others feet, either way it is a connection of feet and testicals.

Billy

2009-01-20T23:09:00.001+11:00

^ my first baby fish, named Billy, after Dr Horrible.

circular quay train station

2009-01-10T23:31:00.001+11:00

sixteen

2008-11-13T00:01:00.001+11:00

fifteen

2008-11-12T00:01:00.000+11:00

fourteen

2008-11-11T10:01:00.000+11:00

thirteen

2008-11-10T00:01:00.000+11:00

twelve

2008-11-09T00:01:00.000+11:00

eleven

2008-11-08T00:01:00.001+11:00

ten

2008-11-07T00:01:00.002+11:00

nine

2008-11-06T00:01:00.000+11:00

eight

2008-11-05T00:01:00.000+11:00

seven

2008-11-04T00:01:00.001+11:00

six

2008-11-03T00:01:00.001+11:00

five

2008-11-02T00:01:00.000+11:00

four

2008-11-01T00:01:00.000+11:00

three

2008-10-31T00:01:00.000+11:00

two

2008-10-30T00:01:00.000+11:00

one

2008-10-29T00:01:00.000+11:00