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Anyone who has watched The Guild (www.watchtheguild.com) and enjoyed it will love this little music video featuring the cast of The Guild with the help of Maurissa Tancharoen and Jed Whedon.






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Apparently I am having some issues with the way people are spelling my name.
Especially when they are replying to something which has my name right there.
SO, to stop the confusion,
to spell Clare:

C L A R E.

Alternate spellings will no longer be accepted.




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Late last night I was inspired to begin writing an epic love poem.
To Harold Bishop.
I do not remember a world without Harold 'Jelly Belly' Bishop,
and nor do I have any desire to do so.

So here is verse one.
I will add to it as I feel the need
and sleep deprivation to do so.

Oh Harold,
You are the sunshine,
The last Tim-Tam in the packet.
You are my everything,
My jelly doughnut.



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Created by The Oatmeal

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A bizarre conversation involving All Saints and coat hangers inspired me to track down this moral test. I first found this a number of years ago, before Katrina, and way before Obama.. So pretend it is still 2002.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------



So where do you stand morally?

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand
morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in
which you
will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
-------------------------
THE SITUATION

You are in New Orleans to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe
flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're
caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and

people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

===============================================
THE TEST
Suddenly you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the
debris.
You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar.
You suddenly realize who it is.

It's the President, George W. Bush.

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take

him under forever.


You have two options- you can save the life of the President, or you
can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the
death
of one of the world's most famous men.


===============================================
THE QUESTION

Here's the question ;

Would you select high contrast colour film,

or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white

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Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
Umm, not sure where my phone is to see who that was, but I think yes.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
It would be nice, I am not overly particular about who as long as they are here to distract me from sleeping. ;)

Do you prefer the ocean or pool?
A little of both, I prefer a salt water pool during the day and the ocean at night.

What is in your backpack right now?
Purse, notebook, pencilcase, Key to the office, a book and a sushi key ring.

Hold hands with anyone last night?
hands... no...

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Peter - My local Miracle Man

Have you ever been told that you were going to hell?
more than several times, but that dosen't worry me since i believe that a hell in the way they were referring to does not exist.

Where were the last three places you went:
Shower, Kitchen, Lounge room... its been a lazy sunday afternoon for me, complete with watching the rain through the window.

What is the longest you've lived in one house?
3 or 4 years.

Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own?
all the time

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before?
probably, I am not very good at noticing these things.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
No, but I don't have anyone of the same sex that i tell *everything* to.

Next time you will kiss someone?
I don't exactly plan these things.

Who was the last person to make you smile?
Me, about 10 seconds ago I was telling Adele about Michael trying to marry me off to the locals for millions of dollars when we were in Fiji.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
I have a reason to get into bed that I am ignoring, not sure that counts.

What color is your bathing suit?
One is black and one is pink.

Would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead?
alcoholic - it is easier and more legal to get the supplies.

Could you go a day without music?
Yes, but not in total silence.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Yes, I have a design and location picked, Just need to go get it.

Are you excited for anything?
I wish I was, once i get some stuff sorted out and have a clear idea of how the move will work out I will be.

When is the last time you went swimming?
I honestly cant remember. How sad is that.

Have you ever gone camping?
more than once... I have even been flooded out of camping more than once.

What do you spend most of your money on?
CityRail and dvds.

Ever been out past your curfew?
Well, yes but I didn't realize i had a curfew at the time

What are you doing?
Watching Greys anatomy while waiting for the Bug Bang theory to start and filling this in.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an M?
yes. I have also regretted it.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
The guy who sold me a coke on the way home was moderately attractive for this phase in the moon.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Work, more work, some work... you get the idea.

What was the last thing you bought?
Coke. At the pub for dinner.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
hundreds. do I care? no.

Are you an emotional person?
yes. I have no control over my emotions, sometimes I wish I was an ice queen.

Did you speak with your father today?
I have not spoken to that man in more than a few years.

Ever really cried your heart out?
Yea, Iusually feel better after it.

Who were you with the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
The last time I laughed really really hard was with Adele while Elyse and Andrew discussed us.

Do you like to cuddle?
yes.

Are you comfortable with your height?
I wouldnt want to be any taller, heels would get a bit weird if I was taller than most of the guys.

Does anyone love you?
Yea, in different ways.



*this was filled in partly on Sunday and partly on Monday.

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"The Christian Church has done everything in its power to suppress and control sexuality- the life/creative force that liberates the kundalini and is a direct threat to their agenda for enslaving humanity." - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??

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I hear my name,
I hear the trash you're talking,
In your sleep, the secrets that you're keeping,
A chick, this smart
Did you really think you could keep her in the dark?

Does she purr?
Does she make it hard
Hard to speak?
Does she dress the part?
I'm sure she'll take some getting used to,
Brother she will never be me

Feel the burn, take a spin,
Suck the poison out of me,
I'll make your beg, I'll make you come,
To your senses if you keep,
Up the shit, take the hit,
Dig the grave
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down
Gonna run, gonna scream,
Gonna crawl down on your knees,
When you realize that no one's gonna measure up to me,
Doesn't matter cause I'm over it now,
This is how it goes down,
This is how it goes down,

I'm gonna rage,
Stay out really late,
Gonna hang, with all my friends you hate,
I may try that three-some,
Better late than never,
And better without you,

This is your future as I see it,
You will be homeless, bald and broken,
She will have left you when she finds out who you are,
You're nothing but an extra, and baby I'm the star,



Suppose this is how the story goes but ever since that door closed,
I've been going down (down), the dream, in the pink got me nauseous,
I should've grown more cautious, and clever, whatever
you never find a dude with better head game and,
You can take that both ways,
You laughing like I'm playing with your fingers up like OJ,
Missy you would have a three-some without me,
I'll pull an OJ, and text you some incriminating pictures from my old days,


Somebody done lied to you
Because you're not such a big shot dude,
You might wanna rethink it through,
You should've asked me I would've told you the truth.

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Some of the highlights from my trip (well the ones I can admit to):

White Trash day - Getting skanked up and eating at Hungry Jacks
where it takes teenage boys about 10 mins to come up with the phrase 'Hello Ladies'.

Th Croft Institute - anything with a science/ 20s hospital theme is automatically awesome.




The Protest - when I protest it is always useful to have a man strung up and a surgeon operating in the street.

Giant gifts - Down a random alley we found a massive gift, I am still not sure what purpose it served.

Brighton - See pictures in posts below. They were so awesome and inspired me to paint the beach...
apparently that is illegal...

The Fire towers - Anything with fire is exciting. and at night with the city lights it was so pretty.


I am sure there is more i *can* share but I am tired so this is it for now.

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Some more pictures...

^City by McCafe

^Bridge reflections

^Gifts

^Cow up a Tree in the Docklands

^Poster for a party

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I took 482 pictures while i was visiting Melbourne, below are 5 of them. Some are up on Facebook and some I may have promised not to display on the internet. I had the best few weeks down there, and not just because I was not working every day.


^Graffiti in an alley

^The fire towers along Southbank

^Brighton beach houses

^a toilet near Batman Avenue

^A building in the City

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my GHD + about 12 volumising products + fake pearls =
80s glam-rock walk of shame hair!

A few weeks ago I went to the P!nk Funhouse concert. It was AMAZING! Words will not do it justice. If you get the chance I suggest you go.
Some of the pictures from the BEST concert ever (at least of the ones I have been to).


In the order blogger has rearranged my pictures:


^Pillow fight

^Jumping and running in these shoes was really impressive.

^Some of the funhouse costumes.

^Flying up out of the floor with a massive tail.

^P!nk Funhouse

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down
I'm gonna burn it down

'Are you feeling romantic?' That is the question we were asked by the lead 'singer' of a band called Faker.

I was feeling the level of romanticism a cane toad feels towards a golf club.
This guy then went on to share various words of wisdom with us including 'this is a song about love called my heart attack' and 'this is a song about sleep walking called sleep walking'
So i decided to write my own song, bet you all can't wait for the release of 'a song about cane toads called cane toads stole my golf clubs'
Here are some pictures of the first part of the evening.

^Notice the guy in the tie, he played keyboard, two different guitars, did some of the vocals and had a game of chase with the other guitar dude. It was both impressive and amusing.

^The are you feeling romantic guys butt is on the left.

^F A K E R

^Faker in a pink-ish light

^in a white light.

"Dear diary... On my holidays, I had a kinky threeway with aliens. I think there was a sheep. I hate to think. Alcohol will not blot this out."

I cannot remember the conversation that prompted me to keep that quote on my desktop but it really surmises the feelings I have regarding Windows Vista.

see more Funny Graphs